Come to yourself
Many workshops and meetings start with introductions or if the people in the group know each other – a check in.
Check-in is an odd term. It is borrowed from checking in your luggage at the airport, trusting that there is a process in place to deliver it safely to its destination. Perhaps the idea of checking in by saying your name and your favorite-song or something like that is inspired by the insurance you fill in where you promise that you are not transporting any explosives in your bag. I come in peace to this gathering. The check-in is an arrival and a way to hear and see each other and in that coming together as the group that we are today.
There are times when what we need is to first come to ourselves. We enter a meeting carrying everything from before and after. The emails we didn’t have time to send and an argument with a friend from the evening before and what we are going to say in the next meeting and if we are the one responsible for dinner or not. Life is full and experiences keep happening in our minds and spreading like echo.
Sometimes I like to start a meeting with a mood and a space to sit with yourself. It can be music and chairs in a jumble with some distance in-between. It can be nice to get a piece of paper and a pen to write or draw something that no one else needs to look at. I often place a poem and/or a couple of questions on each chair.
If it is a big group this can be done in other ways. I like to organize a buffet of quotes and/or questions, where the participants in a meeting can choose what resonates most with them when they arrive. This could also be used as a mass-check in by raise of hands or just turning to the person next to you and have a short, shared reflection.
Some posters on the wall can fill the same purpose. You can have questions where the participants do their own reflection and then just put a mark where they see themselves this time. The questions can be about moods, habits, interests, themes…
Taking a breath is layman terminology for meditation. Even if you sit in a circle, you can always ask the participants to close their eyes or look at the floor (some people are seriously uncomfortable with closing their eyes). I like to invite people to sigh. It is an ordinary regulation of stress. When you sigh you automatically relax. I often use the metaphor of taking a walk inside yourself shining an invisible flashlight. The purpose is just to have a look, without moving or changing anything.
To take a moment and formulate something you need for yourself to stay present, and alert is valuable. It can be something as simple as not going to fast, taking a break when you need to or sit or stand in a way that suits your physical needs.
Fika is the Swedish word for having a coffee and a cinnamon-bun. Fika is also taking a moment for yourself. To put something delicious in your mouth can be both grounding and comforting. Fika is often a break but to eat together, even if it’s just a piece of chocolate is also to treat yourself to a moment of relaxation.
Lastly. Being present in a meeting doesn’t exclude simultaneously working on other things in your mind. One check in that I really like is presenting yourself with “apart from being here I am also…” I am also thinking about my sick mother, I am also longing back to the beach, I am also worrying about a colleague, I am also approaching a deadline….
It is allowed and expected and it doesn´t take anything away from working together in the here and now.
